Team meeting on whiteboard

1. They worship Coffee and don’t function without it.

Not just any coffee mind… Proper Coffee!

At Big Gun we’re obsessed with the local Coopers Roast and Grumpy Mule but if its an emergency and you need to run to the nearest shop then Taylors of Harrogate ‘Lazy Sundays’ or Lavazza Rossa will fill a gap.

They may not shout about it, they may not even know it themselves yet… but marketers these days are all coffee snobs. Filling the cupboard with Nescafe freeze dried is nothing short of an insult and the teams productivity will be suffering because of it.

2. They watch Netflix in working hours

… or ‘listen’ to it like a ‘podcast’ as ‘research’ as they’ll tell the person who looks over their shoulder when they are least expecting it.

3. They don’t like it when clients call them


… they much prefer emails. Emails can be prioritised and everything can be delivered with beautiful formatting. Responding to questions about a multi-faceted marketing strategy on an impromptu phone call is like trying to complete a molten rubix cube whilst blindfolded.

4. They Amazon Prime EVERYTHING

Take an adaptor cable, device charger or memory card etc. If they spend more than 3 minutes looking for it, they concede and Prime it.

Time is money.

5. They are EASY to sell to

They spend their lives trying to objectify and glamorise products and services so that people will buy more of them… The funny thing is, all it takes is a funky brand and a catchy strapline to pop up in their Facebook feed and they’ll buy something in a heartbeat! Hence we’re now addicted to ‘Grumpy Mule‘ coffee.

6. They are painfully indecisive

Think Instagram Story… this photo, that filter, this @mention, that hashtag, this emoji, that angle for the text… Time is money BUT this is ‘critical’, ‘technical’, ‘optimisation’!

7. They flirt with Voice control but rarely master it

OK Google, Alexa, Cortana, Siri… The power to impress is at the very tips of their tongues but the fact is, the boundary pushing commands marketers

come out with are often met with a deflating response or worse still, no response at all! So they’ll try to forget about it. Until 5 weeks later when a colleague nails it in front of them and the cycle starts again.

8. They have a love/hate relationship with the blue ticks in Whatsapp

9. They pay for marketing tool subscriptions that they don’t use.


When someone suggests cancelling it, they’ll spend the next 4 hours knee-deep and come up with a report with so many graphs you’ll begin losing the will to live and quickly agree that its probably worth keeping.

10. Phone insurance is LIFE insurance

With a lot of work and pleasure originating on a phone, marketers these days see more mobile screen than real-life – so you can believe that although their phone are essentially immortal, it is an incredibly emotional time when you crack a screen so give them plenty of space!

PING US A MESSAGE 💬

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